Dating mating and marriage by martin king whyte

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dating mating and marriage by martin king whyte

--K. R. Broschart, Choice -The state of marriage and dating is described in detail in this book by Martin King Whyte [T]his is a thoughtful and interesting analysis . Martin King Whyte (), sociologist and author of Dating, Mating and Marriage, observes that dating “is a curious custom.” Because we are so immersed in our. Apr 2, Saints (referred to as Latter-day Saints or LDS) surrounding dating to this, Martin King Whyte, in his book Dating, Mating, and Marriage, found.

Human beings need these relationships in order to survive. However, the way Americans classify the different stages of an interpersonal relationship has changed over time.

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The first dimension of this study will examine how interpersonal researchers define different stages in relationships, how those definitions have changed over a period of three generations, and the role communication plays in that process of change. The second dimension of this study will examine how personal individual accounts of relational development support what the theoretical background suggests. Romantic relationships are a fascinating display of human interaction, in which communication plays a vital role, thus the reason for the focus of this study on that facet of interpersonal communication.

While researching the topic of interpersonal relationships and how they are classified, I was intrigued by the role of communication in the process. In addition, the knowledge I have gained in pursuit of higher education has continually piqued my interest, specifically in the areas of the dating process and the development of romantic relationships.

The aforementioned reasons are why I decided to focus my thesis work on the topic of change in interpersonal relationships, and the specific role of communication within that process.

In addition to the substantial amount of research that has been conducted on this topic, I decided to conduct some personal research. The research I conducted consisted of interviewing individuals from three different generations, oftentimes within the same family, and comparing and contrasting the dating patterns and interpersonal relationships of each generation. I was expecting certain patterns of differing relationship definitions to emerge, and they did.

However, there were also some interesting trends that I discovered which were less expected. The objective for presenting information related to romantic relationships is to inform readers of the critical role of communication in the relational development process, thus equipping them with the information necessary for improvement in relational communication. Literature Review A substantial amount of research has been conducted in the area of relational development.

During the evaluation of that research, three basic catalysts for change, in the development process of romantic relationships, were found. The main agents involved in transitioning a romantic relationship from one stage to the next were technology, time and activities, and communication. Because of that perception, Whyte focused his study on how the institution of dating had changed over the last century. The custom of dating began in colonial times but by the s the popular practices were referred to as calling and keeping company Whyte At that time, one young woman could have several men calling on her at the same time.

With the passage of time came an advance in the dating process in America. The shift of influence and the activities involved in the dating process both contributed to the new way of defining a romantic relationship.

The question remains, what caused the shift from calling to dating in the American culture? Whyte proposed three ideas to explain the shift. Men and women were exposed to each other informally over a longer period of time, thus transforming their type of social and interpersonal interaction.

Technology, specifically the invention of the automobile, was the third catalyst for change presented by Whyte. Having an arranged marriage with mom and dad in control is certainly not the desirable method of dating for American youth today. Finding a balance between those two extremes is where the current generation of daters find themselves.

What has caused this shift? Whyte and others argue communication; particularly the vocabulary used to define and discuss romantic relationships. For many young people, the expansive relational vocabulary allows them to define stages of a relationship unidentifiable to previous generations. In fact, many young adults argue that the current styles of dating are more natural and healthier than those experienced by the generation of their parents and grandparents Whyte There are other opinions as to what causes a relationship to shift from one stage of dating to another.

Dan Cere, ethics scholar at McGill University in Montreal, identified three dating patterns emerging among the current generation of young people. He believed that theory was a result of the capitalistic society most young people find themselves immersed in. Among communication scholars, the level of self-disclosure remains one of the most popular methods used in defining the different stages of romantic relationships. Joe Ayres argued that physical appearance, mutual awareness, interaction, and a willingness to be influenced create the necessary environment for self-disclosure in relational development Berger, Gardener, Clatterbuck, and Schulman conducted an experiment to determine the level of self-disclosure present in relational development.

They found that biographical information would be discussed in the initial portion of an exchange while more intimate information like sexual preferences would be discussed at the latter stages of the relationship Ayres Research in the fields of sociology and psychology has also contributed to the discussion about self-disclosure.

Altman and Taylor believed that if rewards in an encounter exceeded costs, the interactants would gradually exchange more and more intimate information Ayres While the details of their ideas differ, one element is consistent in all of the aforementioned theories regarding self-disclosure - the communicative act is undeniably present, at least in some degree, in the developmental process of romantic relationships.

Mark Knapp remains one of the most influential researchers in the area of relational development, with a focus on the role of communication within the process. Knapp conducted a study that examined the different terms that were commonly used in identifying relationships at various stages of intimacy. That finding demonstrates the power of communication within the development of interpersonal relationships.

Simply the term used to describe a relationship causes the amount of self-disclosure to either increase or decrease.

Dating mating and marriage by martin king whyte - getfoundlocally.info

Mark Knapp was also instrumental in discovering the catalyst for change in romantic relationships. With his theory of coming together and coming apart, Knapp revolutionized the research on how relationship participants classified the different stages of their relationships.

It was not until Knapp entered the discussion, that communication gained recognition as an equally viable method of development. Knapp argued that it was communication that caused a romantic relationship to transition from the initial meeting stage to a more intimate stage of interpersonal interaction. Once again the underlying question remains, what factor allows for distinguishing between these different stages? That increased romanticism included such elements as joint recreation, enhanced social status, increased peer approval, companionship, intimacy, and support Davies and Windle With the invention of the cell phone, computer, and other technological gadgets, the dating process has been transformed.

Matchmaking websites such as eharmony. Cell phones, with their ability to communicate via text messages, have radically changed the role of communication in the development process of romantic relationships.

Potential dates no longer have to meet face to face in order to find out important details about the other. They can communicate via email, instant messenger, or social websites such as Facebook and MySpace.

According to a recent article in the St. With the infiltration of technology into the dating process, the current generation of young adults seems to be utilizing those mediums to their highest potential. In her article entitled Dating on the Net: Clark seemed to focus her information on the topic of cyberdating as it occurs in chat rooms.

Clark argued that girls were not the only ones who benefited from online dating. Another perspective on the impact of technology on the dating process comes from a recent article in the St.

Coleman also addressed the role of communication in the current development of relationships.

Do Chinese citizens want the government to do more to promote equality?

According to the article, Ms. Coleman was not against online proclamations of love, but she emphasized the risk of such interpersonal endeavors.

With a foundation of related theoretical research on the topic of relational development now laid, we are able to move into the second dimension of this study. You may recall that the second dimension of this study involves the evaluation of how personal individual accounts of relational development support what the theoretical background suggests.

Method It is clear that a substantial number of ideas on relational development are currently in circulation. I was in no way able to cover all of them, but I selected a sampling from the contributing fields of study. I used a lot of the information included in the research of others to guide my personal research conducted in this study. My main objective with the extensive theoretical background was to have a basis for evaluation of the existence of such dating patterns in actual relationships.

I was especially interested in how the definitions of dating patterns had changed over a period of three generations. In order to evaluate the dating patterns of the decade, I chose to interview individuals of the particular generation. I looked at three different generations. Those individuals who dated during the s and s will be referred to as the grandparent generation. Those individuals who dated during the late s and s will be referred to as the parent generation. And those individuals who dated in the late s or are currently experiencing the dating process will be referred to as the current generation.

I hypothesized that the relational development theories applicable to each generation would be represented in the personal experiences of individuals of the said generation. The complete set of interviewees included three individuals from the grandparent generation, four individuals from the parent generation, and three individuals from the current generation, for a total of ten informants. In addition to the presence of applicable theories, I was also hoping to obtain some data regarding family influence on dating patterns.

Dating Mating Relating Lesson 10 - Q & A! Part 3

I went about accomplishing that goal by interviewing three generations of the same family system. I hypothesized that some of the dating patterns present in the grandparent generation would also be present in the parent generation, and some of the traits of dating during the parent generation would be present in the current generation.

I expected the changing social contexts would have an influence on the dating patterns of each generation, but I also expected some elements of each generation would be passed down.

I recorded each interview using a digital voice recorder and then transcribed each interview from the recording. The format of the interviews remained constant with each participant. The interview consisted of a set of fifteen questions Appendix 1which each individual was asked, except in the case where they did not apply to the stage of life the participant was in.

For example, a single person was not asked questions about his or her experiences in marriage. The first set of questions dealt with basic biographical information. Each interview transcript Appendixes reflected this biographical information in a consistent format and was listed in the upper left corner of each transcript.

The five pieces of basic biographical information included the name of interviewee, age, marital status, age he or she became engaged, and age he or she became married.

When necessary the interviewer gave secondary questions or clarification of the primary question. Italicized statements or questions held within parentheses denote those additions and can be found in the transcripts. The findings of the personal interviews will be discussed in the results section of this study.

dating mating and marriage by martin king whyte

Results The research that I gathered from generational informants provided some interesting insight into the existence of established dating patterns in real relationships. There was some identifiable congruence between the existing theories on relational development and the personal experiences I gathered. However there was also some incongruence between the related literature and real relationships, which led to some interesting trends in the results, that were not expected.

dating mating and marriage by martin king whyte

The results will be presented by generation. Within the grandparent generation, one noticeable trend was a lack of communication in the development process of interpersonal relationships. I specified the question to only include the communication style used during conflict, and the responses remained the same, no distinguishable pattern of communication was recalled.

Two of the respondents agreed that they definitely tried to communicate in a way that was opposite to the way their parents did, while the other respondent agreed that she did try to communicate in a way similar to that of her parents. It seemed that the relationship between the respondent and his or her parents made the biggest impact on their emulation or avoidance of similar communication styles. The next few questions of the interview focused on the existence of different stages in a dating relationship.

All of the respondents from the grandparent generation acknowledged the presence of different levels of dating, but they had a difficult time defining what the catalyst for change was in those dating relationships. Interviewee Andy Pace stated love and time as being the elements that caused a relationship to transition from one stage to the next. During his own experience in dating, Mr. She believed her temperament was what caused her relationship to transition from one stage to the next.

The way her husband treated her during those different temperaments enabled her to identify a shift in the relationship. In her personal experience with the dating process, Mrs. While discussing the life of a relationship from the beginning, Mrs. The third respondent from the grandparent generation was Patricia Flexser.

dating mating and marriage by martin king whyte

When asked her opinion on what transitioned a relationship from one stage to another, she stated time as being the main contributor Flexser In her personal experience she remembered that she and her husband spent a lot of time together just getting to know each other.

She recalled that they would go to church activities and social events together, and during those experiences she believed their relationship grew. The classification of a date was another component of the dating process that I wanted to evaluate using the personal interviews. I asked each respondent to describe their idea of a date and also to explain what types of dates they went on during their own dating experience.

Going out to eat. Going to a picture show. His own dating experience involved going fishing with Norma, roller-skating, and occasionally they went dancing. When asked if the definition of a date involved a group of people, Mr. On the contrary, Mrs.

Pace stated that the number of people present did not determine whether it was a date or not. Pace also identified going skating, going out to eat, or going to the movies as typical dates during her dating experience. The final section of interview questions dealt with the latter stages of relational development, engagement and marriage. None of the respondents from the grandparent generation could explain an identifiable transition between dating and engagement. They all believed that their engagements were simple an extension of the dating period.

That society has definitely been a moving target! But as an American, I could not even visit China untiland I could not conduct serious research within China until the s. So my first three research projects were conducted from Hong Kong, mainly via in-depth interviewing of refugees from the PRC, since getting an accurate view of social life in the closed and secretive society that China was under Mao was almost impossible by any other method.

With the death of Mao in and the launching of market reforms and the open-door policy afterChina underwent another social revolution, going from an extreme version of socialism to what seemed like early and extremely dynamic capitalism.

To study these changes I left the comfort of in-depth interviewing of refugees in Hong Kong for a series of sample survey projects conducted in China with the help of PRC collaborators. Tell us about your current or past research. For more than a decade my primary research has focused on conducting surveys to learn how ordinary Chinese citizens are reacting to the sharper gaps between rich and poor that have been spawned by market reforms.

I have been involved in four surveys: I expect to continue to mine these survey data for years to come. What advice or recommendation do you have for students interested in a career in Asian Studies?

I would encourage them to do a better job in developing their foreign language skills than I did. I would also advise them to take seriously the strengths of an area studies, interdisciplinary approach as well as to develop multiple competencies that will enable them to conduct a variety of kinds of research.

Finally, I would encourage them to remain flexible and ready to research new topics and issues as the dynamic parts of Asia they are studying change. Outside of Asian Studies, tell us some interesting facts about yourself.